Sylvester Stallone Thinks This Is The Sexiest Horse Of 2015
Sylvester Stallone thinks this is the sexiest horse of 2015. What makes a sexy horse? Is it a long, luxurious mane flowing in the wind as it gallops along a beach, waves lapping at its hooves? Is it a glossy, smooth-as-silk coat reflecting the sun like the surface of a lake at dusk? Maybe it’s a sturdy, muscular build, and confident strut. Probably what makes a sexy horse is when Sylvester Stallone (who people used to call the “Italian Stallion” in the eighties if I’m not mistaken) says something like “this is a sexy horse.” That is essentially what happened on Instagram not long ago.
I, as well the people at Buzzfeed, believe that it’s time for our culture to have this conversation. For too long, confusion has reigned in the arena of is-this-a-sexy-horse, and it’s time we champion an objective measure of horse sexiness, lest we fall prey to the same hazards that felled the Roman Empire, which, I’m assuming, was not having an objective measure of horse sexiness.
If we can put our differences aside and unite over this common cause, then perhaps there is hope for us after all. Perhaps the things which make us separate and disparate from one another are not so insurmountable that they would cause us to be the engineers of our demise. Perhaps we have a chance—not only as a culture but as a species if we can just find some way to gauge horse sexiness. Was it not George Washington who said “how well can a nation know itself, if it be afraid to probe the dark recesses of whether or not that horse is sexy.”
So please, do society this service. Rescue our nation from a leprosy that will rot us away form the inside. Follow the link below and take this Buzzfeed poll, and help us to determine for once and for all whether certain horses are sexier than others!
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